Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
