Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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