We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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