forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
