finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
