i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
