It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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