would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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