Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
