I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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