Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
