Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
