if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
