new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I think my fart just growled at me.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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