Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Randomize
