Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
