I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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