i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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