Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
