Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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