also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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