Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Randomize
