So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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