It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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