It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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