we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
