I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
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So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
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Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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