New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
