I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize