Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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