I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
