i barfeds in our rink
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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