omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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