Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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