JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
