i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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