there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
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We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
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The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
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