Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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