So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
