Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
If u could sum last night up in one word?