i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
