I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
