i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
