Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
