lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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