My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
