There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
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