This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
