apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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