This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
