It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
