i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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