OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
