Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
