I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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