This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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