Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
