omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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